“In life you can only ever be scared, when you believe in limits.” – From www.tut.com

Isn’t that the truth?

I usually get scared when I’m not achieving what I set out to do.  It’s then I remind myself the cardinal rule of goal setting.  Write out what you want and review it regularly.

I can easily get side-tracked from what I want to accomplish and be so off track I forget all about what it was that I originally I sought after.  That is scary! For instance, my goal in January was to be 20 lbs lighter by March.  It didn’t happen.  The first few weeks I was good about logging what I ate and exercising at least three times a week.  However, I started working longer hours, took on some volunteer projects, didn’t revue my goals, and soon stopped going to the gym regularly.

So now, as I update my goals, I remind myself AGAIN to read them daily!  I do write them out (and print them off in a bright color) and take them with me everywhere.  I am getting better at looking at them on a regular basis; although I’m not entirely 100% there – yet.  It’s a goal!

Two years ago I had an epiphany that if I do something nice for someone else I will immediately elevate my mood. I thought if I get a few friends together and we go out and perform random acts of kindness it’s going to make us all feel great.  I shared the idea with a few friends and through the power of social media, word of mouth, and many supporters, over one-thousand people have attended PIF (PASS IT FORWARD) parties since 2009.

A few weeks ago my good friend Shelley Davis Mielock informed me that I am the 2011 recipient of the mid-Michigan Civility Star Award from Mieshel Image Consulting.  The award recognizes an individual who “promotes a world in which people from all walks of life embrace and practice graciousness, generosity, kindness, consideration, thoughtfulness, nurturing, respect, restraint and responsibility.”

I’m going to accept the award on behalf of the entire ePIFanyNow community.  Thank you ePIFanyNow participants for helping make my dream of creating a place where people celebrate good deeds a reality.  I invite you to join me at the celebratory luncheon.

CELEBRATE CIVILITY

Civility Star Award Luncheon, $20/person
Tuesday, May 24, 2011, Noon
Walnut Hills Country Club

RSVP to Mieshel Image Consulting: (517) 203-4900

Also, the next ePIFanyNow PASS IT FORWARD party is Sunday, June 12 from 2:00 to 6:00 p.m. at Reno’s East in East Lansing.  For more info visit www.epifanynow.org.

One “situation” I seem to find myself in more than I would like is taking on to much at once.  I am a “yes” man.  I tell myself I can handle anything.  Yet, when I’ve got so much going on in my life I can quickly enter a negative vortex that spins fast and like a black hole grabs everything nearby turning it into an unconstructive blob of yuck.

The lesson I learn (over and over) is to change my message to:  I can handle anything but I have to stay focused on what I really want.  I’ve written myself a reminder to read daily.  What do I really want? Is this thought getting me closer or further away from what I want?

My hope is that soon I won’t have to remind myself but rather be so centered and focused on my goal that nothing distracts me from my objective.

I’m reminded:  The thoughts you have today will change your life.  What are you thinking on a consistent basis?

Several years ago Doug and I were part of a Lansing Sister City delegation to St. Petersburg, Russia.  The trip allowed us to get to know each other better and what I found is Doug is a great conversationalist, very educated and yet down-to-earth.  He is also a talented photographer.

If you get a chance to spend time with Doug Langham you’ll be glad you did!

WHO/WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

“People who are positive in spirit, and who pursue life with dedication and integrity.”

DO YOU HAVE A SLOGAN OR MOTTO?

“Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”- -Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

DO YOU HAVE A LESSON OR THOUGHT TO SHARE?

I have often recalled the last words of my father, shortly before his death in 1975:  “Doug, as I have gone through life, the noblest quality I have ever detected in my fellow man is compassion, that special caring for others. And, if you seek your friends based upon that singular quality alone you will never go far wrong.”  Those words rang true for me then, and they ring true today…         

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH STRESS?

I remind myself of the Serenity Prayer, try to keep my perspective, and maintain a sense of humor…”A hundred years from now we will probably be setting on a cloud laughing about this…” In the past, I used to go far long walks or bike rides, but ankle problems and Parkinson’s Disease now make those pursuits difficult if not impossible. I enjoy relaxing with family or friends, my hobby of photography, reading a good book, listening to music, going out for dinner, or spending time at South Haven enjoying Lake Michigan.

I’ve known Rina for the last five years.  Intelligent, sophisticated, kind and compassionate are all words I use to describe Rina Risper.  She is always smiling and involved in a good cause.  What I love about Rina is her dedication to others.  Every time we meet she tells me about another charity she is helping.   She is a mom, a business owner (President and Publisher of The New Citizens Press) and a humanitarian.  Rina has an energy about her that shines.  When ever we part ways I’m smiling because Rina’s positive energy is so contagious.  If you get a chance to meet Rina, say hello.  She is one of the friendliest people I know!

What or who inspires you?

People who are authentic and respect others inspire me.   I love people who agree to disagree and still maintain a relationship.  People who show compassion despite their lives are absolutely amazing to me.  I love people who laugh heartily and cry deeply.

What is your Motto?

Live Simply. Take Chances. Love People.

Tell your story and don’t let other people define who you are.  Live an amazing life and work towards fulfilling your dreams.  If you put them on hold you may never get to them.  If you behave authentically and live your life with integrity it is harder for “negative” people or circumstances to break you.  I have been through so much in my life… domestic violence, homelessness and feelings of abandonment.  Getting angry only empowers that which bothers you the most.

How do you handle Stress?

I handle stress by tackling what I can and being as complete as I can be.  When I feel incomplete, I try to figure out where I can do a better job.  I handle fear much better and don’t allow people to tell me what I am thinking or what I meant.  It keeps confusion down to a minimum.  People will have to at least respect you for your integrity.

Daymond wrote in a recent blog post how he approaches goal setting.  Since I’m on a quest to surround myself with leaders and learners, his post hit home.  Daymond approaches goal setting by first writing out his goals and then reading the list every night before he goes to bed and then again when he wakes up.  He spends twenty minutes each time going over the goals.  How brilliant!

I write down my goals and read them frequently but must admit that I don’t go over them daily.  However, I am a firm believer in the law of Cause and Effect which states: “what you expect and believe is what you experience.”  It makes since then if we first write out our goals and then read them several times a day and actually spend time visualizing that we’ve already achieved them, and they will come true!

Thank you Daymond for a great lesson on goal setting!

Theatre transcends the imaginable.  It awakens the spirit.  It renews the soul.  It’s a drug worthy of exploration and it’s legal.  Discover theatre and tell everyone you know about it.

John Anthony says, “Don’t overlook life’s small joys while searching for the big ones.  Savor life’s tiny delights-a crackling fire, a glorious sunset, a hug from a child, a walk with a loved one, a kiss behind the ear.”  I will add to that….don’t miss theatre!

Wharton Center will announce the 2011-2012 line -up Sunday, May 17.  Visit whartoncenter.com for the complete line up and subscribe today.

I want to read!  Yet, where do I begin?  Do I pick up today’s Lansing State Journal or The New York Times; both lay at my feet?  To my right is the book I started a few nights ago.  There are two more books close enough for me to reach. Piles of magazines and other books can be found next to my bed.  Each one of them seems appealing.  There are to many choices.  I decide to forgo reading tonight.

I go online to clean out my email folder and find a message sent to me months ago from a friend. He suggests I watch an 18 minute video on Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Adichie.

WOW!  SUPERB!  BRILLIANT! are words that come to mind after I watch the video.  This is a great way to spend 18 minutes. I’m less restless and more contemplative.  Forget all the chores, reading and emails.  I am going to find out more about this author and probably add additional books to my growing “must-read” list. 

Here’s the description of the video:  Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice — and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

 What do you think?

“Get so fixated on what you want, that you drown out any vibration or reverberation that has anything to do with what you don’t want.” -Abraham

“Thoughts become things, choose good ones.”  Because changing what you think ultimately changes your words, your actions, the kind of music you listen to, the movies you watch, the places you visit and the friends you hang out with.”  -TUT

Tell me about your mentors.  Click on the mentor tab and tell me what they taught you.

Meet Clyde Keep…

I don’t remember meeting Clyde, I feel like he’s always been in my life.  The last ten years he’s been one of my closest friends and always there if I need him. 

What I love most about Clyde is his ability to make me laugh.  I can’t think of a time that we’ve spent together that I didn’t belly laugh.  We’ve traveled together, spent many of weekends celebrating together, and also had some pretty deep talks. 

Clyde is kind, considerate, and passionate about life.  I see a person who doesn’t allow what others think, say or do affect him.  He is following his passion and letting nothing get in his way! 

The last few years he has been working with a leadership development organization called TEAM, an amazing group of individuals who are on the path to success! 

 WHO/WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

 “Helping people realize their true potential and begin to dream again.” 

 DO YOU HAVE A MOTTO YOU LIVE BY?

 “I will do today what others will not do, so tomorrow I can do what other’s can not do.” 

 DO YOU HAVE A LESSON OR THOUGHT TO SHARE?

 “Failures are only failures when you don’t learn from them.  Life is just a series of failures put together to grow and learn from.”  “We have zero control over the circumstances that happen to us but we are 100% in control of how we react to it.”

 HOW DO YOU HANDLE STRESS?

 “I try to be out in nature whether it is running, cycling or just walking.  I also surround myself with friends and family that genuinely care about me.”