Contemplating by fire-side!

Attending the Lady Gaga concert wore me out!  I’m not used to getting home at 1:00 a.m.   Last night I slept well so I was a bit surprised that I felt blue all day.  Usually that happens when I don’t get enough sleep or I have a lot on my mind.  The feeling of being “under-the-weather” intensified mid-morning after a phone call brought disappointing news; the kind that hits you in the gut and hurts.  The expectations I have for a family member weren’t met and once again I’m sad.  This is nothing new.  I’ve felt this disappointment countless times.  It hurts me he hasn’t learned a lesson and now may have the opportunity to spend a long time figuring it out.

I contemplated; is it ok to be depressed when your entire life is focused on accentuating the positive?  Does Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson or Dr. Wayne Dyer ever feel low?  If they do, do they allow others to know they are feeling blue?  Would that diminish their effectiveness as motivational speakers?  Shouldn’t I suck it up, pull up my britches and just be happy?

I’ve come to the conclusion it is okay to be down.  It’s an emotion and part of being authentically me.  I remind myself I want to ride the rollercoaster of life and enjoy the exhilarations of bliss and the dreadful lows.  What I don’t want is to allow other peoples’ actions or comments to immediately take me down.

As the day closes I’m back feeling centered, having gone full circle, knowing that my contentment or lack off, depends on me.   I’m listening to Jason Mraz, “Details in the Fabric”.   There’s a message here:

“Calm down

Deep breaths

And get yourself dressed instead

Of running around

And pulling all your threads saying

Breaking yourself up

If it’s a broken part, replace it

But, if it’s a broken arm then brace it

If it’s a broken heart then face it

And hold your own

K now your name

And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Everything will be fine.”

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